There's a clever and delightful little Swenglish play on words: "It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell. So, it's not the speed that kills you, it's the crash. If you invite your non-Swedish friends on a road trip, be prepared for adolescent humour every time you go past a police 'fartkontroll' speed check or drive into a carpark at the 'infart' entry sign.
Oh, and the Swedish word for 'fart' is 'fis' or 'prutt'. We know that Swedes have a reputation for being sexually liberal, but if your Swedish sambo ends your phone conversations by going "Puss, puss! Nor are they suddenly confusing you with a kitten. Confusingly, the Swedish word 'kiss' translates to 'pee', so beware of that one too.
Chris O'Neill giving his wife Princess Madeleine an innocent 'puss'. If a Swede tells you to meet at 8pm "prick", don't punch them in the face. Not only because violence does not solve anything, but also because they did not mean to insult you using a vulgar English slang word. In Swedish, 'prick' means 'dot'.
So when the ever-so-punctual Swedes want to meet at prick 8pm, they just mean 8pm on the dot. Meet me at 8pm, prick. If you think this sounds like something famously foulmouthed TV chef Gordon Ramsay might say, you could not be more…well, right, actually.
If he were Swedish, at least. Because 'kock' is just the word for 'chef'. So do try to hide your blush when your Swedish dining companion after a particularly yummy meal in a restaurant tries to pass on his or her compliments to the head "kock".
